Notes From the Underground, Overground, and Every Ground in Between

Quote of the Day: “Time goes by so slowly for those who wait/No time to hesitate/Those who run seem to have all the fun…”–Madonna, “Hung Up”

First things first, some q’s on the TV front: Didn’t Tuesday’s episode of Nip/Tuck give new meaning to the word “facial”? And on Noah’s Arc: even though Noah was “being himself” at the sports bar with Wade, did that really look like the kinda place where you ordered an apple martini? And what was that outfit he had on when Wade showed up to pick him up? Homeboy’s a screenwriter, someone who supposedly gets human nature and observes the world around him–straight or gay, wouldn’t he have any idea what a sportsbar would be like?…Last time I talked about Noah’s Arc, I raved about how much I loved the character Wade. Add Trey, Alex’s big boy to that list. And I got a big kick outta the Betty Broderick homage in last week’s episode, with dude driving the SUV right up into his man’s other man’s crib. I bet Meredith Baxter would be proud…

In HUNG News: The reading/signing at Brownstone Books in Brooklyn last night was fun. Signed a few books, answered some questions, hung out a bit afterward with owner Crystal Bobb-Semple and Brooklyn-based author Bernice McFadden. Shout out to author Rochelle Alers, a Long Island buddy who came out and brought her pal Michelle, who asked me how she should go about recommending HUNG to her boyfriend. I told her to tell him it’s a book about the inner lives of black men but that it gets to the dick of the matter rather than the heart.

Oh yeh, for all you peeps who tune into WBLS in the afternoon, I’ll be chatting with Wendy Williams on her show today, sometime around 4pm. Check it out…

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I promised I’d share some of the letters I’ve gotten since HUNG was released. Some are funny; others are serious. Some of the peeps said they were too embarrassed to post in the comments section but didnt mind me sharing their letters with other readers. Thanks to them, and all the rest of you who choose to share your thoughts with me, positive or negative (but a real big-up to the positive ones–they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside). If you got any questions you wanna ask or comments you wanna make, feel free to click the comment button below the entry or just email me at TheSPBQ@aol.com. Read on:

Dear Scott,
I think I know who the rapper on the DL is in your book. If I guess, will you tell me if I’m right or not? I promise I won’t tell anyone if you tell me that I’m right. –R. in Atlanta

Dear R—
No, I ain’t gonna tell you if your guess is right or wrong. I’m not too into outing peeps, which is one of the reasons I changed his name in the book. Then again, if you can correctly guess the island location of my retirement dream house — and maybe put some cash toward the down payment — we might be able to discuss things.

Dear Mr. Poulson-Bryant,
I am a black man with an average size dick. Never bothered me. Never bothered any of the women I been with either. That’s cause I know how to fuck like a champ. I feel bad for brothas who let their size big or small get to them like a few of the guys in your book. Maybe I need to write a book about how to satisfy a woman when you got an average dick. –G. in New Rochelle

Dear G:
More power to you, bro…Some brothas aren’t as confident as you are and invest a lot of their self-worth and ability in the size of their johnsons. I interviewed a few dudes like that for HUNG and told the story about one of them. As for your book, I think you might have a bestseller on your hands.

Scott—
As a white woman who loves predominantly black men, I have to say I was glad to hear about your book cause people talk about the stereotype (like my girlfriends who don’t get with black men and always ask me if I do it because they have big dicks) but I’ve met black dudes with big dicks and little dicks and in between. All I have to say is more people should read your book so the real story can be told. — S. in Chicago (where the finest black men in the world live)

Dear S.
Thanks for writing. I don’t know if I’m telling the “real story” or even if I want to. I just wanted to investigate how the stereotype of black men have huge dicks permeates the culture and affects how black men are perceived. And I might have to agree with you about the fine brothas in Chicago. I was playing a game of Questions with a crew of folks from Chicago a few years ago and I commented on the same thing. Even the straight brothas playing had to big me up for saying that.

Dear Scott,
I loved your book, but I had a question. In the short section where you write about brothas on the DL you said: “When you’re wearing Timberlands as you’re dicking a dude, you’re fucking in context.” Can you explain what you mean by that?
R. in D.C.

Yo R—
I’m one of those guys who doesn’t find the DL as offensive as others. Rather, even though I think of it as a choice that some brothas take to protect themselves, I also regard it as a stage of sexual development for some guys too afraid to make a public and definitive declaration about their same-sex desires. That said, tho, some of it, to me, is also about cultural codes. Timberlands represent a specific mode of fashion for brothas young and old. Timberlands symbolize a point of view for some brothas and anyone black or anyone who associates with anyone black knows that fashion is a major way of defining who we are. To put it another way, a dude who isn’t going to gussy himself up in Prada or D&G to define himself as a fashion-forward queer boy just might be donning his Tims and jerseys and jeans to make a statement about his own masculinity—yet indulging in the same sort of sex. It’s all in context.

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I’ll be on the West Coast next week. In the Bay Area, specifically, tho I might be making a little skip down to LA while I’m out there. On Thursday the 9th, I’ll be on a panel about hiphop and sex at Cody’s in Berkeley. Then on Friday, the 10th, I’ll be at Marcus Books in Oakland reading from and signing HUNG. Come on out if you’re around…

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