Quote of the Day: “I begged you to get some therapy…” — The agent (Sydney Pollack) to Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) in Tootsie
Nigga, Please: So there’s this guy I know, a black dude, who only dates white women—he says it’s because black women are too domineering and also because so many of them grew up without fathers that they don’t know how to treat a man. He’s serious. I know he’s serious because when he first told me this I spit out my coffee and said, “Are you fucking serious?” Then I asked him why he didn’t just go all the way in the Stereotype Sweepstakes and date only Asian women, since, well, like everyone knows that Asian women are subservient and have that whole geisha thing going on, right? I was being sarcastic, of course, but he didn’t get it. At least I didn’t think he did. Then he calls me up the other day and tells me to read the gossip page of the New York Daily News. I find the paper and I read the column, about Dennis Rodman’s new book and the story he tells about his relationship with Carmen Electra, about how Carmen liked to use racial epithet’s like the N-word when Dennis was slippin the dick to her in bed. Of course, I couldn’t help but ask my friend: “Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever been in bed with one of your white girls and she called you a nigger while in orgasmic ecstasy?” He told me no, that all he’d really ever heard was the “big black dick” thing, as in “Fuck me with that big black dick.” “Is there much difference?” I asked him. “Wasn’t that still racializing the sex they were having?” He didn’t understand what I meant. “Well, we are different races,” he says. “Do you ever say,” I asked him, “‘Gimme that white pussy’?” “No,” he told me. “Pussy is pussy,” he said. “But,” I asked him, “you told me you only like white chicks, right?” “I just prefer white women,” he said. “It has nothing to do with the sex, just how they treat men better, with more respect. I don’t date racist white women. And that’s just racist, what Carmen Electra was doing.” I asked homeboy why he told me about the Daily News column. “I just thought it was funny,” he said.
Who was it that said that, uhm, children say the darndest things? I guess I just have to agree with Susan Sarandon’s character Annie in Bull Durham: “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness…”
I should have interviewed Rodman for HUNG…I bet he’s got some stories…Then again, there is always the sequel…
In HUNG News: Had a good time at the NEXTWorks networking party at Therapy last night. The nice guys at NEXT magazine invited me to sign copies of HUNG for the cool crowd of dudes they get at these monthly parties.
Met some interesting peeps as I chilled at my little table and watched the crowd cruise and drink and watch me sign books. Never realized just how many dudes are named Dennis in the city of NY. Never knew how nice and comfortable a space Therapy was. Good mix of guys—all races and looks and types, just like I like it when I got to a gay spot. Big up to Chad, the guy who runs Therapy, who gave me a rundown on the theme nights they do there. I think I’ll be back for a drink or two soon. Gotta send some love to the members of Team HUNG–Angelo and JM and Clarence–for doing their thing right. Shout-outs to Gerald and Al and Max and Alex of the 8th Street Cocktail Crew. Shouts to FoxyBrown, thanks for the kind words, and to Austin and Collin from Minoritees (see pic) for coming by and chilling for a few. Thanks to John Amaturo and Don Robinder from NEXT for being cool hosts (and to John for keeping the Coronas coming…I had a few but was still able to sign the hundreds of books that passed beneath my marker.)
Contest Stuff: Be sure to check back for the HUNG Contest 1st Winner Announcement tomorrow at NOON…
T-minus 13 days til HUNG hits the stores…